(00:02): Podcast Trailer
Hi, I’m Alyssabeth and welcome to the Own Your Own Way podcast. This podcast is for creatives and adventure seekers who dare to carve their own paths. If you’re on a journey to live a more inspired and adventure-filled life on your own terms, this is for you. I’m a writer, yoga and meditation teacher, and a newly full-time RVer. I’ll share stories of travel and connecting with nature and how living the practice of yoga can allow you to live your most empowered, aligned, and inspired life.
You are listening to the Om Your Own Way Podcast, episode two. This episode focuses on the concept of setting New Year’s Resolutions and what we can do instead to start 2023 with intention, on our own terms.
What if we ditched the idea of New Year’s resolutions? What if we dropped the attachment of making this next year your best or your most successful year yet?
Maybe it will be, but what if you allowed yourself to be unattached to results? How would you feel instead about setting an intention specific to how you wanna feel and who you wanna be in 2023 instead of what you hope to accomplish or reaching some level of success that you’ve been striving for?
(02:01)
So, I’d like to begin, actually, by grounding into this present moment right now, wherever you are, just take a moment– if you’re seated, to feel the support beneath you– of the surface that your body is resting on, or if you’re standing or walking, noticing your feet as they meet the ground with each step, noticing all five senses, tuning into your breath, noticing it’s natural rhythm and pace.
(02:50)
And just inviting a deep inhale, and a full exhale. And so from this place of just noticing without judgment, I’d like to begin here, because this time of year, especially this time in between the Christmas holiday leading up to the new year, uh, can often feel a bit strange.
It’s this time when many of us may have the opportunity to rest a little bit more. Some of us may have the luxury of having some time off of work, while others who work in retail or maybe the service industry are possibly kicking it into high gear. So, I just wanted to take a moment to ground into the present moment, wherever you are, and just allow yourself to settle into a place of awareness without judgment.
(03:56)
And from this place, coming into this discussion of New Year’s resolutions. Maybe take a moment to consider: have you set a New Year’s resolution in the past that maybe didn’t work out? Or maybe you decided to abandon for one reason or another– OR maybe you have an idea of an intention you’d like to invite in this new year…
As we arrive at this space between Christmas and New Year’s, the messaging shifts more from what we ‘need to buy’ for ourselves and for others as gifts– to what we ‘need to do’, what actions we want to take in the new year, and ultimately how the new year will be our ‘best yet’ or our ‘most successful yet’. And that can be in a lot of different ways.
Perhaps it’s the ‘getting in the best shape of your life’ or ‘making the career move that’ll best suit you in 2023…’
(05:11) Reflection and Turning Inward
Ideally, we have some additional downtime for turning inward to reflect, which is a beautiful tool, and sometimes that reflection spurs us to resolutions and New Year’s goals. One of my least favorite phrases or slogans is ‘New Year, New You’–that there often is messaging– in particular, in the fitness industry around this time, geared towards making people feel like they need to transform.
So, my decision to ditch having a specific New Year’s resolution comes from the notion of non-attachment. In Buddhism and Eastern spirituality, there is this emphasis on non-attachment. Because in Buddhism, attachment is the root of all suffering. So clinging to life, clinging to things, or clinging to results only causes us pain. And so, when I encountered that probably over 10 years ago, it was one of the most liberating pieces of wisdom that I had ever encountered.
(06:45) Presence, New Beginnings, Being Open to Change
And so, it’s my belief that there’s an opportunity each day to start again in each moment when you are present. That’s something that the yoga practice and meditation allow us to start fresh, with intention in each moment. And just to suggest that you don’t necessarily have to create some sort of grand resolution to cover the entire 12 months of the year, as we know, a lot can happen in 12 months.
We might not be the same person when the year ends as when it started. Even one month of mindful action can propel you forward to a place where you’ve never been before. So, with this idea of resolutions, I instead adopt a new year intention, but allow for that intention to be able to change, allowing for the freedom to shift that intention or revise or rewrite that intention as many times as you want, that will serve the particular moment of your life.
(08:04) Embrace Non-attachment
So, just extending an invitation to you to take the pressure off embracing non-attachment. So, what can non-attachment offer us? You may be asking yourself, ‘okay, well, should I not set any resolution or any goals for the new year?
And no, I’m not saying that at all. Goals are wonderful tools. I set goals all the time. Small measurable goals to large, measurable goals. And in the past, I would sort of just set a ton of goals. Just wanting to feel a sense of accomplishment around them, and it’s sort of shifted for me to allow my goals to support how I want to feel and who I want to be in addition to what I want to accomplish. But what I want to accomplish goes hand in hand with how I want to be or who I want to be <laugh> how and who I want to be!
(09:14) Combine Non-attachment and Mindful Action to dwell in limitless possibility
Opening up to non-attachment allows us to set goals. Maybe you still set a resolution, but to release the need to be attached to the outcome. And when you do this, it allows you to dwell in limitless possibilities. How awesome does that sound?
So, dwell in the possibility that anything can happen, that everything you wish for that you dream of can happen. It’s not some just manifesting-magical-thinking that anything can happen. It’s a combination of meditating or manifesting what you want, but also pairing that with mindful action, taking the small steps that’ll allow you to get to that larger goal, but coming at it from a place of intention rather than the end goal.
So, for example, a popular New Year resolution might be to be ‘in the best shape of your life’ or to run a marathon– something like that…
(10:45) New Year Intentions instead of Resolutions and BeUnattached to Results
But, what if instead of getting in the best shape of your life or setting a goal for a specific, fitness goal, whether it’s weight loss or strength gains, what if it’s an intention of cultivating strength in all areas of your life, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, relationally in your relationships, feeling empowered, feeling strong, feeling supported?
I invite you to just consider this year setting a new year intention, or maybe there’s a couple of intentions that maybe connect to one larger theme in your life and then opening up to limitless possibilities, being unattached to the results of that intention. Ans if there are goals attached to the intention, releasing the attachment to that end goal and then focusing on what action steps, what mindful action steps you will take to get closer to that goal or get closer to realizing or, or living that intention out– to where you are, beginning to feel the way that you wish to feel that you’re living how you want to be living each day with mindfulness, with presence.
(12:21) Allow Yourself to ‘Fail’ in 2023
And so when you do that, when you combine the intention with the non-attachment and mindful action, then if you ‘fail’ in quotation marks, if you fail, then it’s okay! Releasing the pressure, allowing yourself to fail and try again or to revise or reroute as much as needed. And just listening to that inner voice, listening to your own intuition of what is right for you, or if you are following a particular path, if there’s something that comes up where you’re not feeling aligned anymore, maybe there’s a need that’s not being met or, uh, you are in feeling in misalignment with your values, of where you’re at in your work or in your relationships, then exploring that.
Where is the misalignment? What is creating this sense of dis- ease? What is, where is the resistance?
(13:53) Anchor into Limitless Possibility in the New Year
And so that’s a place where you can allow your meditation practice to, to guide you. So, offering yourself the space of deep listening in order to discover where to go next, where the intention maybe needs to shift or the goal needs to shift. And so weaving in another piece of philosophy here from the portion on contemplation in the yoga sutras states that gradually one’s mastery in concentration extends from the primal atom to the greatest magnitude, essentially stating that you can attract the entire universe from the minute atom to the unlimited vastness. So here anchoring into that limitless possibility, once you have established yourself in deep meditation and you have gained mastery over the mind, nothing is difficult for you to meditate upon. It is simply for you to choose from an entire atom to the entire universe.
(15:16) Give Yourself the Space for Deep Listening and the Resources to support your wellness in 2023
So my New Year’s wish for you is that 2023 is your most intentional year, yet your most aligned year yet where you feel in harmony and in balance in all areas of your life. And maybe that’s aspirational. And of course there’s going to be times where we fall off course or we have the realization where something needs to shift. But my wish for you is that you have the space, that you create the space for the deep listening, and that you come to realize the support that you need in order to reach your goals or to live into that limitless possibility and focusing on what practices you can cultivate in order to support that. So perhaps it’s a combination of meditation, journaling, maybe other resources might include therapy or life or career coaching, or conversations with friends who are in a similar space in their life, have a similar goal or intention and want to be there as an accountability partner.
(16:54) Join me for Online Meditation in 2023!
So, thank you for listening. If you have made it this far, my hope for you is that you have what you need: the resources and the tools to live in that space of limitless possibility in 2023.
So, if meditation or cultivating a meditation practice is part of your 2023 vision, then I’m happy to support you in that. I’ll be offering weekly online iRest meditation practices on Wednesdays at 7:00 PM Eastern time, 4:00 PM Pacific, starting in January.
Have a happy new year!
Click HERE to Join Online Community iRest Meditation (Donation-based) on Wednesdays.
Thank you for listening and I look forward to seeing you in the next episode.
